Johnny's Entertainment.

Johnny's Entertainment is a pyramid scam. In nicer words JE is a multi-level marketing scheme. Wiki explains it as, "Multi-level marketing businesses function by recruiting salespeople to sell a product and offer additional sales
commissions based on the sales of people recruited into their downline, an organization of people that includes direct recruits, recruits' recruits, etc." So let me rephrase that so that we can all understand. Basically JE HIRES say...Jun. Jun is out to sell something. Jun comes by and takes off all his clothes and sits there, and this gets me to stop right in front of him. He then pulls out Ohkura who is also naked, and says, "this is what I have to offer." I'm thinking "WHAT A GREAT DEAL!" But then Ohkura pulls out from his pile of clothes a naked Shige. At this point I've been sucked into not just Jun, but Jun, Ohkura, and Shige. But that's not just Jun, Ohkura, and Shige, it's actually Arashi, Kanjani, and News I've been sucked into.

So Johnny's "hires" or in JE terms "signs" a group of cute boys to their company. These are their sales people. This cute group is called SMAP, but SMAP is just another way to recruit MORE cute boys by going "oh look at us we're so successful the whole country loves us be us!" This brings in people like juniors, and then using SMAP's popularity and their fame they bring out Tokio as "SMAP's kouhais" and those SMAP fans go "oh my God more cute boys" and now they are sucked into SMAP and TOKIO, and then TOKIO goes "look at us we play instruments we are so cool be us" and then boys like kanjani become juniors, and the vicious cycle repeats itself where they use cute boys to lure in more cute boys, then use the cute boys to make us eventually fall hard for one group, and then start swaying for the other groups.

To prove this I will be a witness to this pyramid scam and show everyone how I fell for this so called Johnny's Entertainment. I am still a recovering Johnny's addict, and I really hope my testimony will prevent other's from joining this terrible scam. (not to mention I would like to buy concert tickets without having to give an arm)

It all started when I watched Gokusen. I had absolutely NO CLUE who "Matsumoto Jun" was or that the word "Arashi" even existed. All I knew was that Sawada Shin was damn hot, and I was going to dedicate my entire life to Sawada Shin, and my future children would be called Shin #1 and Shin #2 and Shinko #1 and Shinko #2, and everyone would just be Shin. But then Gokusen ended, and then the special was just one episode, and to my dismay Gokusen 2 was not the same cast. Therefore if I could not get more of Sawada Shin, then I would get more of the actor that played him.

Like many others I was baited in by Matsumoto Jun. But to be honest I wasn't ready for an entire group, I wasn't even ready for "Sawada Shin" to be a "singer." Therefore I stayed away from the "group" that this "Sawada Shin" was supposedly part of. Instead I decided to watch Hana Yori Dango. My friends told me to watch it for some time. Since I was a rabid Hana Yori Dango fan, and actually waited 1-2 months for the next damn manga to come out, people knew I would go crazy over the drama. But I was stubborn, there was NO WAY anyone could do Hana Yori Dango justice! NO ONE! Boy was I wrong. I watched Hana Yori Dango, and I absolutely loved it. I loved "Sawada Shin" even more, and by now I was used to calling him "Matsumoto Jun." Even better, my favorite, Oguri Shun was also in Hana Yori Dango, and he played my love, Rui!

Then it hit me before I even realized it. "Say, who sings this theme song? What a catchy song." I was pleasantly surprised that the theme song was actually sung by the group that this Matsumoto Jun was in. Arashi's Wish, and I could not stop listening to it. I think I might have listened to it for about a week straight, literally almost 20 hours a day. By now I was thinking, 'hey the song is pretty catchy maybe they'll have even better songs!' So I searched, and somehow the first song I came upon was Jun's 2004 solo, La Familia. This is entirely bad for me, because i listened to the song and immediately believed that Jun HAD to be the lead singer, and that he was a WONDERFUL singer. Once again, boy was I wrong.

After I sent the youtube clip of Jun's solo to about 30 or so different people, forcing them to agree that: #1 Jun was hot, #2 Jun could sing well #3 Jun could write songs too! #4 Wasn't Jun's other group members, whose names I didn't know, awfully nice to come out like that and sing along?! So now I had 2 songs, Wish and La Familia. But this wasn't enough, and this time I asked a different friend to find me Arashi albums, and somehow he found me the entire discography of Arashi.

I listened to a LOT of the songs, but the song I listened to the most was Kimi Wa Inai Kara. I could not tell whose voice was whose, nor did I know anyone's names except Jun's. But someone in the group sure could sing. While I tried figuring out who in the world this awesome voice belonged to, I was also on the side going gaga over Oguri Shun. As my fandom for Arashi developed so did my fandom for Oguri. It was during the same time I started to watch STAND UP, and then it was all down hill.

Soon enough I found out the main vocal was Ohno Satoshi, Sakurai Sho was smart and rich, Ninomiya Kazunari had a lot of dramas I could watch, Aiba Masaki I still couldn't figure out, and Matsumoto Jun really wasn't as good of a singer as I thought he was, but he was still hot.

The more I listened to their songs the more I wanted to know who these voices belonged to. It annoyed me to NO END that I couldn't recognize whose voice was whose except Ohno's. I could tell Ohno's but I couldn't decipher anyone elses' voices. But then I downloaded all the official concert videos, and that was all it took. Never had I been so gracious for clubbox until then.

For approximately 6 months straight, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I downloaded Arashi videos. I am not exaggerating at all. I am completely serious when I say I downloaded 24 hours a day for 6 months. How do I know this? Well I downloaded 7 years worth of videos within those 6 months. Anything I could get of them, I downloaded, and I watched every single (something)NoArashi and every single Mago Mago Arashi. I even watched Wazari Arashi, Nama Arashi, USO Japan, and everything else. Before I watched all the shows, I watched all the dramas first. I watched day after day, week after week. I went straight from watching only Korean dramas to everything Japanese. It was a complete 180 flip, where my parents started to worry.

"Hey daughter, Dong Bang Shin Gi is on the TV!"

When I didn't react my dad ran into my room, "Daughter! I said Dong Bang Shin Gi is on the TV!!!!"

"Not now daddy, I'm watching a drama."

"Hey honey, did our daughter have a falling out with Dong Bang Shin Gi? She won't come out to watch them!"

It was then my parents realized that all was lost, I had completely fallen for the evil side of what would soon be known as Johnny's Entertainment.

For the first year all I did was watch and follow Arashi. There was no room to look at anyone else. For the first year I didn't even know the names of the other Johnny's group. For about a month I didn't even know SMAP and Arashi had the same boss. I had 7 years to catch up, and there was no time to waste on anything aside from Arashi. So that's what I did, I caught up.

But then as I started to have more leeway, and room to breathe, it started to hit me all over again. This fool named Jin was a rude ass to Jun, and I could not help but to dislike him. I disliked him and Kame. I wished both of them would just shut the fuck up. Unfortunately that didn't happen. On the brighter side eventually Jin did disappear for awhile, and Kame seemed to have matured.

And then the kouhai senpai world had been opened up to me.

I loved Arashi, and everyone they loved, I would come to love to. Ohno likes Hirai Ken? Okay, time to listen to Hirai Ken. Jun eats with Ryo once in awhile? Despite the big nose, short height, hey I could tolerate Ryo. Sho is completely embarrassed with Hina, okay fine I can tolerate Hina if Sho can. Yoko likes to make everyone laugh by purposely wearing girl underwear, fine I'll laugh too. Through Arashi I paid more attention to certain members of certain groups. Despite my strong dislike for Kattun at that time I really liked Nakamaru because he was always respectful to Arashi, and seemed to be the Arashi shipper of the group, therefore I absolutely adored him, and till this day he is my favorite member within Kattun. Did anyone else dislike Takey just a little bit, and then found out that Ohno was a little prat towards him and felt utterly sorry for what an outcast Takey was whenever with Ohno, even if you can't really have outcasts when there is just 2 people. But these were all kouhais to Arashi. There was another world to discover.

Senpais. Not surprising at all Arashi seemed to be well liked by their senpais. When Tokio was asked what group they would like to be part of if for just one day they replied Arashi. How could i not love Tokio as well, of course they were funny as hell when put together too. Nino and Jun seemed to really respect Tsuyoshi, well in that case I could look past his very eccentric taste and enjoy the way he treated Gakt. Despite being a senpai in debut years, Okada still used honorific form with Ohno for quite some time even after his debut, which made me really respect him as a human being. There was no way I could not enjoy Arashi's senpais, due to the way Arashi treated their senpais.

In the end, while I got sucked into certain members of certain groups, in the end through these certain members it became the entire group. Right now I think I watch at least one show from each of the Johnny's groups. I don't do it because I have to, but because it's just entirely enjoyable. (I don't watch Kattun's show because it's boring x:) Has anyone seen Shota cry because someone ate his strawberry? x: And also, Gokubun is so damn funny. Oh and I love Shingo on any SMAP show. Sometimes the urge to smack Tegoshi really makes some of my pent up stress go away. Does anyone else think Tsubasa is entirely a pervert?

In any case this is my story. As you can see...I am a prime example of a person that's been sucked into. So a warning to all those that are innocent watching a Johnny's drama or some random funny episode of a Johnny' show. There is no such thing as "random." Johnny's don't just have ONE random funny show, there's more, a lot more, and once you get started there's no end. You start with ONE Johnny's drama, and you'll end up like me. So the next time you decide to watch some drama was a somewhat cute Johnny's boy in it, ask yourself, "Am I ready to give up about 6months-1year to catch up with everything I missed, try to keep track of 30+ hot boys, ultimately give up all my money and get an extra part time job to continue this addiction, and lose all my hard drive?" If you are ready for all of this then go on ahead and watch. But if you aren't...then I would suggest you should just stop with everything Japanese entertainment.

GOOD LUCK! (this is not an advertisement for Kimura's drama)